You Won’t Be the Same

It’s been one year since my episode of major depression. In honor of this year of growth, I wrote a poem of sorts. To those of you who are struggling right now, there is light right around the corner and my wish is that this poem can give you hope. – Diana

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“After having an episode, you won’t be the same,”

They say.

“Where’s the hope?”

I say.

It’s been one year since I had an episode of depression,

The sleepless nights, crying,

Staying home and skipping sessions.

For so long I feared this feeling might creep back in,

It might take me over,

It might hurt badly again.

Although it did creep back in slowly but surely,

I’m smarter now

And can see all the signs early.

And the best part is I learned a valuable lesson from this,

I can choose, believe it or not,

My own happiness.

Although my body and brain don’t always match up,

I now know the power of my mind

If I decide to make it up.

Trust me, this year I felt depression again

But this time, I knew her better

I called her a friend.

I leaned into her and tried to understand,

I let myself feel,

And I gave myself a hand.

I didn’t berate myself or make it out to be bad,

For having this “friend”

Who made me feel sad.

After spending some time with her, I let her go

She no longer served me,

I knew I had to grow

I chose to be happy and I chose to believe

That all things that happen

Are the best that can happen to me.

I cannot choose or alter my chemical balance,

Nor can I control my thoughts,

But I get to choose my reactions

I’ve learned this lesson in one year’s time

Imagine the evolution,

What I can learn in nine

I used to think little of myself and was very sick,

Then I did a 180

So now I’m celebrating big

“After having an episode, you won’t be the same”

They say.

“You’re absolutely right.”

I say with a smile.

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