If You’re Going Through a Lot All at Once

Dedicated to a friend whom the world has placed a lot of pain and loss on at one time

And to all others who are dealing with an overwhelm of hurt

“When it rains, it pours.” “Bad things come in three.”

 We have many ways of saying that bad things tend to happen all at once because this happens to many people at one point or another in their lives. What I want to talk about with you is how to traverse the bad times, navigate through the hardship, and make it out a warrior on the other side.

I can’t sit here and tell you I know exactly what pain you’re going through. What I can tell you is I have experienced pain beyond what I thought imaginable after the universe hit me with a grand slam of problems all in one sitting. When I was diagnosed, had to let go of my job, and then proceeded to fail at two other job attempts all in a month’s time, it felt like the earth was shattering beneath me. I had to start completely anew. What I want to tell you is you too can start anew. And to my dear friend in pain, I know you have before.

Life hit you hard out of nowhere.

I bet you can look back not two weeks ago and remember a smiling, happy you. If this applies, stop engaging with this memory. Stop spending time with the past you. It will do you no good. You must focus on the present you. You must focus on putting one foot in front of the other. The good times you felt a couple weeks ago…those, I’m sorry my dear, are gone. Those feelings are nothing but a mental image we have constructed regarding a past event. This may sound harsh but it’s the reality that reflecting on a past you, a thought of a more “together” you, is not helpful. The truth is you are together and whole in this moment, it’s just hard to see past all of this pain and loss.

If you lost someone or something you held close to you, I’m so sorry for that and only with time will that pain feel easier to bear. And to lose pieces of you that you thought were part of who you were…that’s hard to deal with. But what I want to tell you is your identity does not stem from the physical, who you are is constant and shining and beautiful and full of life. You simply are.

The universe has a plan.

What I’m trying to get at my dear friend is that you are not alone in this struggle and the way out is always through. No need to analyze the past or predict the future. No need to focus on “what could have been.” All you need to do is focus on the fact that you are love. You are whole. You are one with all life forms. You are capable of yet another fresh start. The universe has a plan for you and it doesn’t make mistakes. You are stronger than you think. And you don’t need me or anybody to tell you that or help you feel that way, you will feel that on your own increasingly every passing moment. I have faith that you will because you’re reading this and because you care and because you have negotiated this tall mountain and can make the final ascent to the top. Be patient with yourself, for the view will be amazing and you will get there. If it feels too hard to deal with losing these precious pieces of your life and identity, hold onto this: you are a warrior.

With love,


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